i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
