Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
