So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We left the knife in your bed.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
