You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
