so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
