Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
