Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
please don't ironically join a cult
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