Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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