She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize