OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
