so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
