I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
