R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
what day is it and did you see me today?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize