Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
