How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
