last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
