We need to rekindle our bromance
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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