Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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