Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she peed on how many people?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
