Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
