The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
