Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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