go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
