wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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