yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
