If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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