i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
