theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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