Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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