How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
