I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
