My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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