I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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