I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
