Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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