It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
