after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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