I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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