On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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