Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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