The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize