Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
