No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
