Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
