I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
