that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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