How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
