drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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