So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
