If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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