The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
