Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
