Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
