I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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