does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
