so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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