So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
