You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
