Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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