I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dicks are not precious.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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