If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
