At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
