can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
