I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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