You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i think im in europe. pls send help
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
