what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
